Do you remember your dreams? Don’t sweat it if you don’t. I don’t always remember either.
Over the years, I kept reading about the importance of dreams. I read that our dreams are the doorway to our subconscious mind and the “unseen” world. Dreams can be healing. To be honest, it sounded like over-my-head psychological and deep spiritual bologna, yet….. I was still intrigued.
So, I decided to try it out one day because clearly, I had nothing to lose here. I really wanted to feel better. I tried it out on 5/23/2018. My expectations the night before, in “typical Tara fashion”, was super-duper high. (This was how I rolled back then.) I was totally expecting a detailed and deep look into my subconscious mind with a roadmap of what I need to work on. This is what I woke with….
UTAH
Tara’s Dream Journal
That was all I could remember!! I was so frustrated! But, it didn’t stop me. My next dream was 2 weeks later. And that was….
Native Indian protecting
Tara’s Dream Journal
Wow! I thought this is improving, yay!!!
Two weeks later, My dream was…
The song “Never Enough” from The Greatest Showman was playing.
My grandfather who passed away was making a dessert.
I swallowed a vitamin.
I saw a group of people inspecting my trash outside.
Tara’s Dream Journal
Do you see a pattern? I was remembering more details in my dreams! I also learned that one dream may not give me all the insight I “want”, but when I combine them, it was giving me the insight I “needed” for the “Whole” Tara picture.
Through the years, I have used my dreams as part of my personal healing practice. My dream recall and dream interpretation have improved greatly. It is most definitely a muscle I have built. I have learned that my wishes or intentions are powerful too. When I started setting the intention to receive healing and/or guidance when I sleep, my dream world magically opened up more doors for me.
Going back to my dream journal entries above, I want to share something super cool that happened a year later.
I was having some heavy and sad emotions one September day in 2019. I felt an urge to draw. I grabbed a pencil and just started, with no plan in my head. The final picture was a Native Indian and his name was 3 Feathers. I was the little warrior standing next to him. His message was, Continue to fight Tara!
Intuitive Artwork – Guide’s Message – You Are A Fighting Warrior
Coincidence? I think not!
The Lesson:
Don’t underestimate the power of wishes, dreams, faith and consistent personal work. We are not “A-lone wolf in this world. WE ARE NOT ALONE!
If this post resonates with you, please check out my next post titled 6 Steps For Healing While Sleeping. We can all receive healing and messages while sleeping. You can do this too!!!!
We all have wounds and pains from our past experiences. Are you living your present day life with a “Hole” heart or with a “Whole” heart. Ask yourself this question today.
I recently asked myself this question when I was feeling awful. Emotionally and physically. The ickiness I was feeling on this one day in particular was in fact, an opportunity for me to shift and heal more. It was a blessing.
Since I had my emotional breakdown in 2011, I have been determined to feel whole again. I am on this journey to heal my mind, my body and my spirit and live my life full of abundance, joy, love and peace! I have been showing up and I will continue to show up to do this work! I chose to show up on this blessed day of ickiness to work on more healing too.
Before I share my personal story from this day and share the tools I used for my shifting and healing, I would like to share something that I discovered about me 2 years ago. (I am such a sharer, aren’t I? I used the word share 3 times in one sentence! HA)
As I began to unravel parts of my pains to heal the root wounds in me, I started reuniting with my heart and my soul. Doors began to open in the “unseen world” and I was connecting to my higher self, other spirits, angels and light beings, and guides. It was not an instant thing. It was a gradual process and I did seek out a mentor. But I want to disclose (share :)) this background about me because in my posts, I share 🙂 messages from spirit and the divine. I wasn’t born open like this. (well, actually, we are probably born with this connection but we shut it off for many reasons) My healing journey opened this gift up again for me. And if you wish, this door can be open again for you too.
Ok, now back to this blessed icky day where I shifted 🙂
There are so many ways to heal. For me, I find that writing and drawing are my go-to tools to shift. For healing purposes, I wrote this poem and drew this picture when emotions and triggers were happening.
I also want to point out that my physical body is a great gage for when emotional healing is needed. The day before my emotional triggers, I had physical symptoms of pains in my back and shortness of breath. I said to myself, “Oh crap! Was this COVID?” Luckily it was not. After connecting to my spirit, I soon realized that it was my unaddressed pain pertaining to my mom.
I journaled. I received a message from my mom. I received a poetic message from my spirit. I drew it. I created the shift. Here it is!
The Messages – The Shift
While I have been processing the grief of losing my mom and healing old wounds, I was shown that I had a hole in my heart. My mom, while living, would always fill me up with her love and make me feel better. She is no longer here. I was feeling the void. A hole. I was feeling empty on this day. I needed my mom. Then I heard this….
It is my responsibility in this life as Tara to heal the trauma and pain. And fill myself with my own love and light.
And so I did.
The Hole & "The Whole Goal
There was no more denying
I had a hole in my heart.
It was my unhealed wounds
And childhood was the start.
While I have worked on myself,
Letting go of old stories and pains,
I now see healing like an onion
Layers upon layers still remains
To fill the holes and emptiness
I patched it up the best I could,
With Control, Perfection and Fixing
Outside love, alcohol and some food.
I have learned thru these experiences
These tools were not the best.
Short term relief always happened.
Long term, I fell deep in distress.
Stirring deep inside me,
Was my heart crying out.
Saying “Heal these wounds Tara,
Choose. Turn your life around!
So, I listened and took action,
One little step at a time.
Brave Warrior Tara showed up,
With the goal to be whole and shine!
I am never done with this healing,
I am determined to rise above.
I choose to heal on my life’s journey
And fill My Self with self-love.
Heal the holes to Be whole.
This is what we are called to do
It takes work and it’s not easy
But you will discover the most authentic you.
While this picture and poem is personal to me, I would like to challenge you in a Self Refection! Are you ready for the the challenge?
Identify a tiny small hole (emotional pain) that you are holding onto or feel, (now is not the time to go for the Big Kahuna if you are not fully supported). And if you are willing and ready, make the choice to heal it. Don’t worry about the steps and the how-to at this moment. Being aware of it, and ready to let it go is a great first step. I can assure you, healing little holes add up to “The Whole Goal”!
If you would like to learn more about ways to shift from being hole to whole, then I encourage you to check out these two posts for steps and guidance. We all have the power within us to heal and feel whole again. BELIEVE THIS!
Hi there! Dreams! I. Love. Dreams! Dreams have been so insightful for me when I take a moment to set intentions before bed and ask to receive wisdom. “Seeing” areas that need my healing attention are not always “clear” in my everyday awaken state. But in my dream state, WOW! I receive lots of clarity.
My dream practice has 100% given me direction and clarity over the years. I am so grateful for them. I wrote about this dream practice in the blog post, 6 Steps for Healing While Sleeping. I encourage you to check it out if you wish to learn more.
I truly believe that sharing real-life examples with others can be a teaching tool. Some healing methods may resonate with you. Other ways may not. And that is totally cool. There are so many different healing modalities out there. We have the choice and free will to decide which tools resonate/work for us. For me, having a choice is so empowering!
It is so important for me to keep learning ways to grow and evolve. Keep showing up. Keep practicing. Never stopping. Because this work is NEVER done. As my one dream reminded me, we are called to Be A Shapeshifter To Heal our hearts.
So, without further ado,
I share with you now, my deeply personal dream and journaling on……
How I was able to “clearly see” my deeply rooted Guilt, Blame, and Shame.
Stay tuned for the follow up Blog Posts!
Big Hugs To YOU!
Tara
Tara’s Dream and Sleep Intention
I humbly ask to receive while sleeping …..
Love, light, and messages/guidance that are for my highest good and awareness.
Thank you!
Tara’s Reoccurring Dream
My mom, who was alive but very sick in this dream, wanted to go back to her old house that was sold. And I made it happen, but this decision caused me major stress and guilt. We snuck into her old house while the owners were at work. I did this for her, and I did not think about myself or the other people involved. I just wanted to make her happy.
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While making her happy, I was annoyed. I was tired. I was worried and I lived in fear that I would be caught. I wasn’t happy. But my mom was happy.
Tara’s Dream Interpretation
A journal entry chat with my spirit and guides:
My Question to My Guides:
Reoccurring dream with me. Why?
My Guide’s Response:
This dream brings to light times when you only took your mom’s “wants” into account and dismissed your wants and needs.
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This dream brings to light unprocessed, unresolved, and unaddressed feelings and emotions during these times with you and your mom.
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This repeated dream is letting you know that there is a scratch on your “record”. And your awareness and energy are needed to find the scratch, and “buff” it out so the “record” completes playing all the “Life Lesson Songs” in your album.
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See the image below. This is your album that holds some of your “Life’s Lessons” with your mom. This reoccurring dream wants you to go back to one specific time with your mom.
My Response:
Thank you guides. I appreciate this info. But I am “stuck” as to why there is a scratch. I don’t “see” it. To be honest, I “felt” that I was aware of the lessons that this experience with my mom was teaching me. I practiced self-love. I felt grateful for the experiences and I felt good with my choices.
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Can you please give me more insight into this scratch?
My Guide’s Response:
Yes. You WERE very “in tune” with the lessons with your mom and you DID consciously make choices that practiced self-love. However, unconsciously, feelings, emotions, and stories did attach to this “record”, thus, creating the big ole’ scratch.
My Response:
REALLY???? Please share more……
My Guide’s Response:
Do you rememeber that one day when you and your mom had a very heated “discussion” while she was eating?
My Response:
How could I forget that day. It is imprinted in my mind.
My Guide’s Response:
Good, go deeper. Walk through that moment in your mind. This is where the scratch is.
My Response:
My mom was under Hospice care.
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She was frustrated that day. She wanted solid foods.
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Reluctantly, I gave her solid foods that morning.
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I was on edge and stressed out while she ate her meal. I was fearful she would choke. I was worried that I would have to do the Heimlich on her, again.
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My mom felt that I was watching her every swallow. She was getting even more frustrated because I was watching her like a hawk.
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She began choking. But luckily, I did not have to do the Heimlich.
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She took out her frustrations on me. She yelled and blamed me for her choking because I made her nervous.
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In desperation, I yelled back and said…..
Mom, I am done!
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I can no longer make you happy anymore!
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I can no longer save you!
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I can no longer continue this dance of me feeding you, you choke, then I save you.
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I may be saving you, but I am dying inside.
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I wish I can change the reality of this horrific situation and disease. But….I CAN’T.
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It is time for us both to accept this reality.
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YOU CANNOT SWALLOW.
My Guide’s Response:
Very good Tara. What emotions are overtaking you right now.
My Response:
Guilt – Sadness – Fear
My Guide’s Response:
Go deeper…..Why is that?
My Response:
After I expressed myself and put up that self-love boundary, something happened.
I felt and saw her fears of death.
I felt and saw her guilt of asking me to save her.
I felt and saw her sadness that her life was soon ending.
My Guide’s Response:
Anything else? There is still more Tara.
My Response:
She apologized. I apologized. We cried. We held hands. We exchanged love.
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I remember the sponge bath I gave her that morning. We had a moment. While I cannot speak for her, I was fully present in that moment. I massaged her legs and her arms. I gave her my love that was healthy for me. She accepted the love.
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She died a week later.
My Guide’s Response:
Beautiful Tara. You most definetly had a spirtual moment with her. An exchange of healthy love.
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The last sentence you wrote…..She died a week later, needs some more attention. A big part of the scratch in your record resides there. So go there.
My Response:
I am blaming myself for her death.
I believe I killed my mom.
My Guide’s Response:
Tara, this is where you are stuck in fully completing the record album of “Life Lessons of Self Love.”
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You have 2 areas that you need to release and “buff” out.
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1- Let Go of your mom’s fear, guilt, anger, and sadness that you absorbed that day. She wants you to release it.
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2 – Let Go of the untrue story that you unconsciously created after she passed away. You did not kill her. Both of your guilt, blame, and shame reside in this scratch.
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Go buff Tara. You know you have the power to release, shift and heal.
My Response:
Thank you. I feel like a truck just hit me. I am so very grateful for this dream and for your assistance. My spirit and I have some healing work to do.
Journal Ended
I truly hope and wish that my story can open up a healing doorway for you. Stay tuned for more shares with how I healed.
